Many working moms have that horrible feeling guilty when they have to start with working after delivering. Many of them are aware that their job is important and there are many benefits for their families and the company of their job position.
They also know that money they earn will help to raise her kids and enable the excellent education for them when that day comes in the future. Her income will provide better future for her child, and it is the main priority of one mom, of course. But, very often all that awareness does not help. Feeling guilty because her children are left alone with the nanny or in kindergarten is somewhere in the air all the time. Because of divided the time between beloved family and work, the full-time working moms are too often under the heightened stress level.
According to the newest data which have been given by the Center for American Progress, up to half of the workers in the USA are women. Almost four of ten of them are working moms.
Table of Contents
- Reconsider Your Work Routine
- The Best Tips for You to Make Your ‘New Life’ as A Working Mother Easier
Reconsider Your Work Routine
There are plenty of things which can make your hours easier when you back to the work after you got birth to a child. My first thought when I found myself in that situation was to find a job online. Today, I am a mom who works from home. It is my way to find a balance between my children and my work. But, I am aware that it is not good enough solution for everyone.
Well, there are a lot of other ways for working moms to deal with this difficult situation. You as one of them can request a new, flexible schedule. In many cases it is possible. Please, don’t immediately answer ‘It is not possible in my working place’. OK, maybe it is not, but you do not know if you do not ask. And remember – asking does not hurt. Go to your boss, expose him a problem and try to find a solution that will work for both the company and you. The plus will be if you prepare a proposal for him. You can construct a written plan with all the details, and I am sure that every reasonable human being will consider such a request.
You also can work an earlier shift for example or reduce past full hours to the part-time job. If it is possible, you may come to the office only four days a week but to work ten hours a day. You should think about a possibility to split your vacation up to the smart way so you can get at least a few days every month to stay home with your children. In some cases, if it is possible, you can try to find a new job closer to home. Actually, it could be one of the most excellent solutions.
If your superiors have the goodwill, it is possible to solve this problem in a way that is good for everyone. I believe that many employers are willing to help mothers who work in their company after they return from maternity. It is a high probability that they will do it at least during the first months.
The point is that your manager should know that you will finish your job on time even though you are not present full time on the job. If he decides to help you, you need to return him the favor back and get your job done correctly.
Sometimes working part-time job does not mean that you reduce the amount of work. On the contrary, it can be the quite the opposite. You can found yourself more efficient in the new circumstances because you know that your time is limited. That usually means that you will use that time better. Plus, you will get more hours to spend with your children and your husband.
The Best Tips for You to Make Your ‘New Life’ as A Working Mother Easier
Time spent at home and time at work must be separated
Please, pay attention! It is not good for anyone if you think about problems connected with your working place at home. It is the same in the opposite situation if you let yourself to waste time at work worrying about home’s issues. At a workplace, you need to be 100% at work for the sake of your job. At home, you need to be 100% at home for the sake of your children.
Being entirely devoted to both your kids and your work one at a time wherever you are present is the ultimate ‘must’ for you. Plus, it is the best possible way to avoid feeling guilty at work because you do not spend enough time with your children. On the other hand, you will concentrate on your job if you do not suffer because your children are at home alone with a nanny.
Make your life easier and ask for help whenever necessary. I will give you some tips how to reconcile your obligations about your beloved child and responsibilities at your workplace in the most acceptable way. There are numerous ways to organize life so everyone is happy, especially you as a mother.
Find quality childcare and learn to rely on others
I like to rely on myself, but it can be very hard from time to time. Maybe it is a good idea to look for help, especially during severe busy periods. If you do everything by yourself, you will be stuck in one moment and crashed under the high pressure. That would be the worst thing for you and your family, especially your children. You need to learn to take a break and to share obligations.
The first step should be to look for quality childcare for your sweet babies while you are working. There are no many genuinely reliable babysitters or nannies, but you can try to find one. The easiest way is to ask your friends for help. Some of them probably have their own children and have some experience with babysitters. They can recommend you the trustful ones.
I can’t repeat it enough times – ask for help! Consider hiring someone who can help you with household and gardening, for example. Hire a maid to clean the house or cook meals periodically. During that time, go for the massage or take a nap. Turn off the TV and read one of the books you have wanted to read for a long time. If you use a computer in the office, avoid it at home. Surprise your husband with a bubble bath. It asks a little planning, but it is possible, you know.
Rely on the family. Some grandparents really enjoy looking after their beloved grandchildren. If your parents are people like that, take advantage of the lucky situation. Do not hesitate to tell your partner when some tasks are too much for you and when you need help.
Be nice to yourself
My grandmother used to say – peace can prevail in the home only if the woman is satisfied. Trust me; it can’t be right more! The problem with every to-do lists is that they extend over time. Unbelievable! By trying to get everything done, at one point you will come to the moment when you will forget to take care of yourself! And you will become unhappy and unsatisfied mother and wife. And your home will lose its peace.
No matter how busy you are, it is necessary to find some time for yourself during the day. Always keep in mind that you have a kid who depends on you and you have to be healthy and happy. It is the only way to make your child happy and satisfied. Try to drink plenty of water, eat a healthy diet, take a rest, and get enough exercise.
Establishing boundaries between home and work is pretty challenging task nowadays. Today’s technology makes us connect with anyone anywhere at any time, and it can be tiresome and extremely annoying from time to time. As a working mom, you need to separate your personal time from work time very clearly, and to create more space for yourself and your family. It will reduce stress and help you to organize everything better.
Make your mornings easier
The rule No1 is – do not let things get out of control in the morning. It is the part of the day when everyone is sleepy, irritable and nervous and very easy to quarrel. Besides, it can easily happen to someone forget documents, notebooks, outstanding notes, or a school bag. Don’t mention the possibility that someone always can’t find their socks or favorite T-shirt, so there is not enough time for breakfast. Morning can be a complete mess, but you already know that.
Prepare clothes, backpacks, the kids’ lunches, and work bags the evening before. Decide the menu for breakfast this particular day. Change the baby diapers, make sure everyone had taken a shower, washed teethes, and got dressed entirely. Keep keys of a car and a house on a place designated for that purpose, so you can quickly grab all of them on your way out.
Make a plan of action. Check the to-do list daily and divide the schedule. One of the parents gets the children dressed, and the other goes grocery shopping and cooks the meals this week. You always can reverse your obligations next week. Try to find a way to have breakfast together, and to start your day relaxed and in a good mood if it’s possible.
Reserve ‘your family time’ at least once a week
I know that it is hard finding enough time during the week for family and friends, but it is one of these ‘must do’ things you should organize both for you and for all of them.
For a start, make priorities. Specify minimum two afternoons or early nights for fun hours which you should spend together. You will see, these moments will be precious for your partner, your baby, and other kids if you have them, and a real jewel for you as a working mom.
Turn off your phones, make shared dinner for the whole family, or just order Chinese food and spend time watching favorites old movies or play board games like Monopoly. You can take this time to make homemade cakes, too. All in all, family time can be great fun for all of you and an excellent way to bond.
After a baby and children go to bed, you can finish your family time with some spice inside the bedroom. After stress during the day because of constant balancing between work and family, you do not need lack of connection among you and your husband.
If you want to be a satisfied woman and well-organized working mom, your bedroom must not become a boring place. With all the problems brought by the combination of maternity and office work, do not forget that your husband needs their portion of attention.
Establish a daily routine – spend more time with your family
After you finish your work, come home and eat with your family. If your children have already eaten, sit down and enjoy an everyday chat. Listen to their day-to-day problems and enjoyments, ask everything about homework, new crushes, teach them new poems, read children books with them, or take a nap together.
You do not have to wait for your kids to go to sleep to start to finish housework. You can freely involve them and even give each of them small tasks such as setting up a table, wipe the dishes, and taking out the garbage. Maybe these tasks are boring for you, but children, especially smaller ones will be delighted to take part in your everyday routine.
After kids go to bed, the time for your husband and you have come. If you are too tired, take a glass of good wine, lie down, relax, and chat about beautiful things. Dream together about next holiday, watch the basketball game, and listen to favorite music. Tell him about your day, and encourage him to tell you about his working day and news. Up to you are to make every evening unique or to establish a comfortable routine and stick to it.
Be involved in your child’s life
Try to stay connected with children during hours when you can’t be together. Nanny can play them a video you made, and your children can look at the video and hear mom singing or reading them a favorite fairy tale.
Don’t miss important child’s events like school football games or school plays. If you just simply can’t reach, ask someone to film the event. You can watch the video together later and make comments how amazing your child was.
Whatever you do or decide, you only need to pay attention to your needs and needs of your family. Your children have to be a priority! If you notice any changes appear in your kid’s behavior, you need to react immediately. If you spot that they are withdrawn or suddenly become shy, you should shift your focus to them. Without enough attention, kids tend to become insecure, and I am sure that you do not want to face such a problem.
Learn to say ‘No’! It is crucial if you don’t want to go nuts. You can’t do everything on your own and you need to refuse to do more than you can in the specific period of time.
Say ‘no’ to a co-worker if you have no time to spearhead his project. Say ‘no’ to your child’s teacher who asks you to organize a children’s theater performance if you don’t have enough time. Say ‘no’ to the neighbor who has decided to organize a gathering at the time of your ‘family time’ if you simply don’t want to break your family tradition. Say ‘no’ to your friend who wants you to go shopping after long working day even though you only want to go home. Say ‘no’ to your cousin to drink coffee together. You don’t need a reason. It’s enough if you don’t like her.
Say “yes” only to these people and these things for which and who you decide that are worthy of your precious time. Simply like that!
Find the way to spend more time together. Organize memorable weekends only for you as a family. There is no any need to go to the Disneyland or to spend a lot of money. Your children need a day with their parents, and it can be anything including a day in the kitchen. You can prepare cakes together or involve them in preparing a meal. Going to the park and enjoying the outdoor activities is always an excellent choice.
Your children need a little one-on-one time with you. Think better. You need that time too, right?