The process of becoming a parent is out of the world feeling that everyone wishes to experience once in a lifetime. It gives you the happiness that stays with you forever and makes you feel proud. At the same time, there are a lot of changes that happen physically and mentally. These changes should not be ignored as it can have the long-term impact on your life.
In simple words, it is a short period depression that happens just before and post-baby birth for a week or two and that is termed as baby blues. Technically speaking, Baby blues is “A common temporary Psychological state right before or after childbirth when a new mother may have sudden mood swings”.
Table of Contents
- Why it is Curable
- Differences between Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression
- Recovery from Baby Blues
- Curing Baby Blue with Emotional Intelligence
- Let’s Get Personal – Natural Cure
The beginning phase of baby blues:
When a baby is in the womb and is about to arrive the moment you feel that jerk, you might either feel very nice or sometimes weepy and sad.
Don’t worry, there is nothing to panic but it’s a phenomenon that occurs due to few insecurities and over-excitement. This feeling is termed as baby blues.
It is temporary state:
Baby blues cannot be termed exactly as depression because depression is for a longer period and might last forever but that is not the case with the baby blues. Baby blues is just a temporary phase. So, for example, the delivery date is 25 August and you are happy and excited until 15 of August and after that suddenly you start behaving little abnormal. you might get irritated for very small matters like people talking to you might irritate you, if any of your things are misplacing you might feel annoyed, if you expected a call from anyone or if you are trying to call someone and they are not picking up your phone or just busy or maybe if you are trying to work on a project or just a housework and if it’s not working then you might feel crying and anxious. We are trying to illustrate how tiny issues start worrying you in the baby blues and these are very normal symptoms of baby blues. We have discussed these symptoms in detail in this article.
Happens pre childbirth or post-childbirth:
It might extend for a period of one or two weeks before and after baby birth. If it goes beyond that you are advised to contact your doctor and tell him everything in details.
Sudden mood swings:
When we say suddenly we mean at a point of the day or any hour of the day. So, for example, you wake up in the morning and everything is going fine. You go out and you see something wrong you might feel like shouting or maybe get anxious and after some time you may be back to normal. If you are a very conscious person you might wondering why this all is happening around.
It’s a phase of hormonal changes
Rather than cure, it’s more about adopting the changes that are quite natural. This happens because when you are pregnant there are few chemical reactions in your body that tend to create stress on your cells and they get disturbed from their normal sequence. The changes in hormones especially the release of stress hormones lead to such behavior. These hormones are like those stress hormones that are realized when you are in the mensuration cycle. As soon as the body adapts the changes and becomes use to it, the changes are imbedded and everything becomes normal.
The hormone normally formed in ovaries, estrogen is also produced by the placenta during pregnancy
When you are pregnant and get stressed or get such stressful thoughts, cortisol levels increase with such stress. Pregnancy leads to changes in many hormones, not just stress hormones. If the stress hormones keep the pace even after 2 weeks of childbirth, the elevated stressed hormones may actually dampen the stress response system, making mother reactive to the stressful situation.
This phenomenon might lead to prolonged depression.
Whether I will be able to take that pain, how good I can be as another, will I be a good parent, whether I will be able to breastfeed, what if I am unable to take care of my child and many more. Women are already exposed to the habit of thinking more in every situation. A study has shown that the women get stressed more when in stress.
This is not thinking but overthinking and that is natural after all it’s about your baby.
If it’s your first baby, the questions might be more intense as you are not confident enough if you are prepared for the same.
When you get to know that you are pregnant you might feel very confident that you know everything about the process and suddenly there is something that happens that you feel ” this is not what I was expecting”.
You might not have imagined the reasons for getting angry on such petty issues. Getting angry just because you don’t expect that you will put on hard fat on your body or don’t know about breastfeeding is normal during baby blues.
The symptom of fear can be before the childbirth and after the childbirth. It usually happens with people who have the family history of depression and hence they are aware of this risk.
The psychological landscape hasn’t changed as this disorder has been happening for years now and is expected to happen more in the coming years due to increasing commercialization.Though all new parents are highly sensitive and react quickly as in the feeling of fear
a）Pre Birth fears:
Will my child be healthy enough…
Will my delivery be normal…
What if I died…
Why I am not sensing any movement in my stomach…
What birth complications might occur…
Will I be back in my old figure…
Will I be able to feed my child…
b) After birth:
How can I soothe my child…
Is he fit and there is no casualty will I be a bad mother…
Why am I unable to sleep…
What will happen if my child is hungry and I am sleep…
Why my child is not reacting…
Though there is nothing to fear and this is normal for baby blues.
In future, we will be discussing…
How we can recover such fear…
Has that happened before with you that you got irritated and then you cried and then for some time you felt sad
This has happened to every grown woman. Do not forget the period of your mensuration where you were so irritated that sometimes you shouted on your mom knowing that she was not wrong or just told your friend to stop talking to you just because you are not interested and after doing so you are the one who feels sad. This is what we are talking about same as in your monthly cycle the sadness surrounds your mind whether you are in a good environment or bad you might feel the same, the feeling is sad.
Sometimes you think about your friend or grandparent who passed away and their memories you start feeling sad. This feeling will be automatic and you might feel that you are been forced to be sad.
Lack of inspiration, a feeling of unwanted being, Hopelessness or thought of suicide are the few other symptoms of sadness and being broken from inside.
You will try to come out of this feeling by reading good self-help books or watching an inspirational series, however, they might make you feel sad and annoyed.
The cure for baby blues is different from postpartum depression hence you need to understand the difference.
In baby blues, you focus more on present situation or circumstances like am I doing it the right way, did I close the door, why it is not getting baked etc. Besides, you have an issue in connecting with your baby. For example, when you get to know about your pregnancy you were happy and feel connected in the process but just after the childbirth suddenly you feel disconnected from your baby and you might even feel guilty about it as you might be thinking why am I not happy and what makes me feel disconnected to this extent.
In postpartum depression, focuses on present situation and the future you might even think of how I will be out of this mothering thing and get back to normal world like enjoy club parties, swim, eat whatever you want and so on
Baby blues is sudden: You experience the change in behavior infraction of minutes and you might even think about it that why this is happening because the change is visible instantly
While, Postpartum depression happens gradually:
For example, It’s windy outside and it’s a dusty weather. you close the door and start dusting your home and suddenly someone enters the housekeeping the door open, as he forget to close the door you start weeping for a while. In case of postpartum depression, the same situation It’s windy outside and it’s a dusty weather. you closed the door and start dusting your home and suddenly someone enters the housekeeping the door open, as he forgot to close the door you start weeping and keep weeping and cursing yourself the whole day long.
- Identify the person you feel the most comfortable with. It can be your friend or partner or someone elder in your family whom you completely trust or had a matching wavelength.
- Practically speaking only an influential person of your life can help you in recovery of such situation.
- Be the way you wish to be in the past
- Try to keep yourself up to date
- Connect with your office colleagues
- If you feel fit FG out for a party talk to people that might help you divert your mind and concentrate your newborn.
- If you are a person who loves to work or if you love your profession then back to work. If you cannot go to office just work at home.
- Do something that really makes you feel better. If you like watching movies, watch the movie or just watch a comedy series that might help you to divert your mind.
- If you are spiritual then go to church or involvement with the group of people who pray together and are grateful for what they have in their life. Be more involved with them they will support you and enlighten your path to success.
- If you are a fitness freak then take a long walk and take healthy food. Have a green tea twice a day to detox your body. Do not exercise excessively and consult your physician before performing any physical activity. Keep yourself focused on how you can improve your health and if not now when can you start exercising. Do some breathing exercises and stretching to make sure you are not short breath.
- If you like traveling then pack your bags and go to your favorite destination.
- Take a sunbath on the beach.
- Look at the kids playing in the garden, observe them fighting, playing, laughing, enjoying, you will feel much better.
- Observe your baby’s sleeping habits, eating habits for few days and then changes your routine according to your baby’s routine. Try to be available when he needs you.
- Do not expect others to do your work as when you expect something and that doesn’t happen you might feel more depressed.
- Meditate and try to keep yourself calm.
- Take out some time for yourself from your daily routine.
- Engage with other moms who have dealt with such situation. They might tell you the ways to come out of such depression and help you in recovering and soliciting from this problem.
- Don’t expect that everything will be normal very soon as this process takes time.
- Patience is the key.
- If you are a very shy person and do not wish to talk to others about this problem then talk to yourself. Create your own diary and every day make sure you mention the date and at what point of time feel bad and what point of time you feel good and then accordingly plan your day. There might be some fixed time period for you may feel bad it may be there are few set of activities that are uncomfortable and you might not be happy doing that. Try to recognize such activities and postpone them for the future.
- Avoid people who misguide you.
- Stay away from negativity
- If you are a social person invite your friends on dinner
- It’s okay to feel bad sometimes but it should not be more than a period of time otherwise it might lead to other negative impacts such as
o Extreme Bizarre Behavior
o Thoughts of harming or killing your baby
o Suicidal thoughts or actions
o Extreme agitations
Look into his/ her eyes and think about the moment when you get to know that you are pregnant and you wish to have this child. What motherly feeling was that, that let you keep that baby in your womb and you had lifetime feeling of being a mother.
Think about this, this is what you wanted at a point of time, touch his skin and feel the thoughts, think about future how your child would walk, talk and when he will go to school, how you will dress him.
Try to build those thoughts in your mind. The parents have a very strong emotion for their kids and if anytime these emotions turn negative they are termed as baby blues or a temporary state of depression. It is just that you have emotions for your kids but they are turned into a wrong direction due to excessive stress and a change in your life. You have to bring your thoughts back to normal. You need a guide i.e. a therapist who can heal you from this depression.
We would recommend, rather than depending upon medicines and artificial cures, take a deep breath and try to connect with your newly born and consult a therapist who can heal you naturally from this depression. They know the techniques to get your thoughts in place and help you understand why this is happening further help you stop this thought process that address your anxiety and develop coping skills. They spend a day with you as a friend and improve your sleeping habits. All this is done by examining the mental health concerns or relationship issues, financial issues and job stress.
If there are any other issues going on in your life, the therapist guides you to come out of such issues and help you heal your current issue i.e. baby blues. They tell you how to disconnect between the two issues and try to focus on one of them at a time without impacting the bond you share with your baby.
Many times, it has been observed that the baby blues happens to even those people who are well settled with no issues with jobs or relationship but still they are encountered with this issue. There has been a lot of studies around it and the only thing that has been concluded is that baby blues are not necessarily caused because of a reason, they are sudden and because of hormonal changes in your body. Hence, in that case, it requires a proper treatment and timely medication.
Let’s Get Personal – Natural Cure
Your best friend is your partner and he knows you in and out. He knows what you feel, when you feel and where you wish to go. You may not find it comfortable in sharing this feeling with your partners or you might feel guilty. The doubts may arise how will he react if he gets to know that how wild you can go in your thoughts.
If you have a partner that really understands you then we would recommend do not hesitate in sharing your thoughts with him. You need to convey your message correctly and tell them what you feel, ask your common friend or relative to tell him about this feeling. He is your best buddy and best therapist hence he can help you to cope up with this situation.
Still, if the anxiety, sadness, irritability persists talk to the doctor before it gets serious. Attend the awareness sessions that happen from time to time. register with few sessions so that you know that you are not alone but a part of such group who are suffering and ready to heal together. As soon as the thought of giving up comes to your mind just step back for 10 seconds. Apply this rule of 10 seconds to rethink and feel the moment and what can be the consequences of this step, as you pause just sit with closed eyes and take a leap back in your past to access the situation. You will find the solution in your mind. Just walk away from the place where you are getting those suicidal thoughts. Do not watch horror and thriller series, as they encourage the thoughts to be actioned and avoid smoking for a while. Remember all this is for a while and nothing is permanent hence never think that you cannot be you. No one can take away your freedom unless you decide to be bound.
At the end, we would say 70% of Women face this issue of baby blues. The euphoria might make you dissipated abruptly, leaving you cold, depressed and strangely empty, however, that is not the solution to the problem. Just relax, take a deep breath, sleep as much as you can, do not feel that you are stuck or you can’t do anything, feel free.
One thing to understand here is that there is no need to feel unsecured about it, it happens just needs to be handled with care and love. The parent-child relationship is considered as a God gift and if God has given you power to give birth then why he will not support you with this temporary problem. Just keep calm and relax, everything will be back to normal.